I realized just before Passover that it had been about 5 years since my Dad was declared cancer free. And maybe it was because of the type of cancer he had but I realized that we had never really acknowledged his fight.
I remember when my parents told me and my sister about his diagnosis. It was at breakfast. My entire immediate family was at the table and my parents said they had something to tell us. And my first reaction was "well have you looked at what the ACS says about it?" Can you blame me? I was interning for them at the time. I defaulted to that. Rather than let my emotions do anything. They told us when the surgery was scheduled. Told us about how early it had been caught. How it was in the early stages and the chance of successful recovery was essentially 100%.
And when I realized it had been 5 years, I realized that the 100% chance recovery rate had allowed us to diminish what we experienced. Sure, it wasn't what many others have suffered through but it was by no means easy.
After we left that breakfast table, I locked myself in the bathroom and called my best friend. I remember sitting on the floor crying. Choking out the words. The hushed silence on the other end as she listened. The immediate "I'm on my way". My reassurance that it wasn't necessary and yet the overwhelming love I felt for someone unrelated to me who was about to drop everything. And for something that had an almost 100% chance of success.
I remember the long hours spent in the hospital waiting room. As we drove there we could see the moon above the city. We watched the sun move to the other side of the building through the wall of windows. I remember when we first saw him after the surgery. The days immediately after. The months that passed when he was still recovering and I was half way around the world.
Even now, 5 years later there are remnants of what changed since his surgery. But I am so thankful that I still have my dad. And no matter how his cancer was compared to others' I wanted to take time to acknowledge the time that has passed. And our family Passover seder was such a wonderful opportunity. On a holiday (my favorite) when we celebrate freedom and survival against the odds, a holiday that we spend with family to recall past stories, this was the ideal chance to reflect on 5 years being cancer free.
I could not be more blessed.