Self-Validation

I read an article recently about judging yourself and doing what you think will make others like you. This is not by any means a new idea but it liked how it was written and got me thinking. Since humans have found ways of communicating we have sought out validation. This typically comes from those around us: family, friends, coworkers, peers, acquaintances, etc. And that validation is important to us as social animals because we want to know that we have a purpose. Our actions and words are meaning beyond the realm of our personal internal bubble. Being a part of a group and identifying oneself is a sociological phenomenon that I could go into way more detail with but won't. Not because I don't find it fascinating - in fact I originally wanted to study sociology as an undergrad - but because there is almost too much that can be said. I could write an entire thesis let alone a blog post about this subject so for the sake of brevity I'm going to move on.

What I eventually majored in (Media and Communication) was well suited, particularly because of my interest in sociology. I could never imagine myself actually pursuing a professional career in media but the social science of it was perfect for me. And so going back to what I was saying about identifying oneself and being part of a group, this act of validation from others has historically been very important to people. Our census didn't always include so many boxes but as our society has grown and evolved we have added boxes to incorporate those communities that didn't fit into existing definitions. Adding these boxes allowed us to continue to validate how we identify ourselves by feeling like that identity was acknowledged, even by complete strangers.

But the steps we've taken in how we're validating ourselves has changed with the introduction of the internet, new technology, and especially social media. We work on creating a public profile or identity based on how we want people to view us. Only the best of us gets posted online in order to maintain a certain persona. Likes and RTs have become new forms of how we validate ourselves. That's why we share way more than necessary, that's why people are calling our generation the "me" generation. We narcissistic-ly want more little red notifications, little alert notifications pushed to our electronic devices that tells us we are connected. Even though these connections do little to actually connect us to people because until we can validate ourselves, we are just filling the space where our "self-love" should be with surface level connections.

So my challenge to myself and to whoever stumbles across this blog is to figure out what you personally need to self-validate. I do realize the irony of posting a blog about this but the fact is that I'm not writing this for anyone or for anyone to praise me for what I've said. I'm writing this for myself (and if anyone can benefit from it that's just a bonus) because that's part of how I validate myself. Writing my thoughts out helps me figure out what's going on in my brain and this is the easiest place for me to always have access to my thoughts. And I actually don't know why I said that because I feel no need to justify my usage of blogger to keep track of the random thoughts that I have. At the end of the day I know how to validate myself and it doesn't come from a tri-tone, red flag, or anything like that.

The Lost Art of the Mixtape

I grew up on the edge of the technology generation. I don't really know what to call us. Are we generation X or generation Y? Or were we whatever generation came before that?

A few weeks ago, I finally fixed my parents old turntable and listened to my first vinyl record in, probably about 15 years. I remember playing with the records when I was a kid so when my sister, who is only 3 years younger than me, asked how I knew where to put the needle so I could play the exact song I wanted, I was shocked.

I remember the sound of dial-up internet and what a big deal it was when my parents got a second line so they could use the phone while we surfed AOL and sent IMs to our friends and robots like SmarterChild. I remember not knowing that there were more than 10ish channels that you could watch on tv because we didn't have cable until I was in my late teens. I remember sitting next to the huge radio system my parents had just waiting until my favorite new song came on so I could hit the record button at the right second, adding to my precious library of songs. Except this library was on a cassette tape. And if side A filled up at the exact moment a song ended, that was worthy of a celebration because who wants to lose half the song while waiting for it to flip to side B?

And so maybe it's because music fills up a huge portion of my memories and maybe it's because I have more memories of what it was like before CDs and iPods, but I used to think that there was nothing more romantic than a mixtape. My friends and I used to make tons of mix CDs before it wasn't standard to include MP3 player hook-ups in cars. And I understand the technicalities of making someone a mixtape now (besides me, does anyone have a stereo that can play cassettes anymore?) but there is something about the art of compiling songs together that went out of style with the advancements of technology.

Everyone now has playlists with an infinite number of songs on them and the "shuffle" option has made it oh so easy for us to not think about what we're listening to. Maybe it's because on vinyl there's no shuffle and only a few songs can fit on one side but there used to be a time, in the era when mixtapes were still common, where we had to put a lot of thought into the order and number of songs we could have. People even bought full albums and discovered that, even if it wasn't a radio hit, there could be some great hidden gems.

This is not intended to make it seem like a holier-than-thou speech. I have so many synced Spotify playlists that I go through faster than Apple goes through new products. I'm constantly making new mixes to tailor to my current mood. Heartbroken? Cheerful? Excited? Rockin' out? There's a playlist for that. What I meant when I say down to write this is that we have gotten lazy. We send YouTube links to each other with random songs that may relate to the moment but we have lost the art of creating a collection of songs that ebb and flow while conveying a story. There's a reason why we sing the same songs in a row in religious services and broadway shows - because the music is a journey. But now it's so much more about convenience and having everything at the tips of our fingers. We've gotten lazy and we stopped putting thought into how we express ourselves through music. Even some of what's out there now I can't even understand how people could define that as music.

I wonder if we will ever completely lose the art of mixtapes. Even when they aren't tapes; as it is those have already fallen by the wayside. But for some reason, I am still convinced that mixtapes are a romantic and intimate expression that can't be replicated in playlists or YouTube links. If someone puts thought into creating something like that for you where each song carries purpose and significance, where there is a story being told, I think that person is truly special. In a world that keeps pushing us away from those forms of expression, those who can stand out from the crowd are those who truly affect our lives.